Are Women Afraid?

Some are, and I think it is us men

Photo by Anna Hecker on Unsplash

A few years ago, we were looking for speakers for an online event that we were hosting at Missio Nexus. For this particular topic and year, we decided that we wanted to have a good representation of female presenters. In the area of ministry in which I work, global missions, there are a lot of women. Just under 70% of all field missionaries are women. So, it was with some confidence that our team created a list of potential speakers and began to float the invites.

A few weeks later, we were sitting at just under 40 invitations to women, with only 1 positive answer. That is a blistering 2.5% response rate. I was shocked. 

[It might be important to add at this point that these women were mostly GenX and Boomers. The millennials are just now coming into their own in terms of missionary agency leadership and C-Suite representation. The dynamics are different than they are with their elder generations.]

After some phone calls and discussions (which included some key women leaders outside of the situation) a few themes emerged. Some wanted more information, and some asked, “Why me?” A few did not want to discuss it further. Mostly, though, the turndowns were not aimed at the event or the invitation, but the reward/risk ratio.  In other words, these women were thinking about the upside of being a presenter juxtaposed against the potential downside of being a presenter. When they did the math, they determined that the risk of saying the wrong thing, being perceived in the wrong way, or not doing a good job was too high. Some of this may be related to confidence issues. I think, though, that the environment has more to do with it. How women are treated, have been treated, and expect to be treated has conditioned this careful weighing of the risk/reward ratio.

Since that time, we have made some strides in this area. Not the least of which is me and how I encourage participation. I have learned that a phone or Zoom call (not an email) is a much better way to invite women to speak at events. They can ask questions and get feedback from me. Further, many ask for time to decide. I still do some emails, but only if I know a bit about the person being asked and how much prior participation she has had with Missio Nexus, and so on. Men are much quicker to say “yes.” I find that an email invitation is often sufficient for them.

This all came back to me this past week. A friend was getting reviews of a book. He put together an email list and sent it out to a couple of dozen missions leaders, including some women. One of them wrote to me, asking if I was going to do an endorsement. She was not sure if she would. “Why would I?” she asked. “If I endorse this book and it is negatively reviewed when it comes out, that is associated with me. I am working hard to gain some credibility in this ministry sphere, why risk it?”

Me? I do a fair number of book endorsements. People want access to the community I lead, so I get asked. By the time she and I had this conversation, I had already handed in my endorsement. I don’t remember weighing the upside or downside. I just did it after being asked by email.

I believe that we men are not seeing the whole picture here. I know that I am not. I am sure that some who are reading this may not like that generalization, and that is fair.  At the same time, if you are leading in a ministry context, recognize that at least some (I would say most) women leaders are experiencing leadership in a very different way from you. It is not asking too much for us to seek to understand that and make appropriate changes. One may think that this was an issue for the 1990s but at least in the Evangelical community, I think not.